you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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