You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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