last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
