i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
