the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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