whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
