I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize