Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?

Fav 15 2180 960
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(770): View more from Georgia

finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.

Fav 10 1574 3066
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(316): View more from Kansas

i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?

Fav 25 1389 3575
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(937): View more from Ohio

Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.

Fav 8 3079 1181
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair

Fav 5 2948 1062
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(739): View more from

The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.

Fav 13 3648 909
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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts

Fav 9 2060 881
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(585): View more from New York

he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again

Fav 0 11 55
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(919): View more from North Carolina

This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs

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