Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
