I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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