Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
