You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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