Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Farmville is her only friend.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize