Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
