So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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