Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Of course I have a pirate flag
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize