I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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