Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
