like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
