in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
