she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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