I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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