Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
