I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
