he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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