I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
