hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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