We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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