Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
