it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
