I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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