Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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