Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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