My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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