:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
How does it feel to date your dad?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
