Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
