I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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