I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
