She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
