no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
your thong is hanging out like whoa
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
