listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
