Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
