I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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