An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize