The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
