Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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