he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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