drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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