GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
