I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
