i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
