you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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