College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
