he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
