you're like a bully in the Christmas story
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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