we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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