Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
