She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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