bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
