Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
