Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
