Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
