5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
How's work?
Spinning.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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