Got a toothbrush?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
false alarm, still single
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize