after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
