yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
