idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
